We Eloped! (2.5 years ago)

& now I tell everyone to elope.

For as long as I can remember, I was the girl that unashamedly dreamt of my wedding. I had the Pinterest board full of inspiration, the first dance song picked out, colors of the dresses for my non-existent bridesmaids…you get the picture. I had big dreams about all the things I wanted for this someday day.

Marrying someone from a different country sounds all kinds of romantic, but the reality of bringing your lives together takes more than a lot of effort. The pandemic ultimately threw the biggest wrench into things, and we ended up spending nine months apart waiting for the Canadian borders to open back up to US citizens. During that time, we came to realize that if we wanted a permanent solution, one of us would need to make a big life-change, so after nine months worth of research on canada.gov, we decided that a cross-country move + marriage was our best option. Without being too sappy or too personal, this option was not a bad option — we knew this would be something we did regardless of our lack of visas — but it came at a not-so-ideal time with vaccine restrictions, border closings, families & friends in different countries, etc.

The borders finally opened in August of 2021, and we got engage at the end of September. Shortly after that we landed on November 19th for our elopement date. Because we weren’t going to have our families or many friends there, and this wasn’t going to be a typical wedding day, we wanted to make it as special as we could and ultimately decided to make a weekend out of it in Montreal. Neither of us had been before and it’s a much more beautiful place than where we were living at the time. We both asked a witness — my BFF, Anna, and his life-long friend, Charlie — and all met in the city on Friday, November 18th.

It was nothing like I imagined my wedding day would be. I got my hair and make-up done at a little salon by women who only spoke French. We had a “first-look” in our Airbnb after all eating breakfast bagels together in the living room. We Uber’ed to the notary. The room where the ceremony was performed was decorated with tulle and sparkles. We filmed it all on my phone set up on a tripod. Most of the photos from those moments were taken by Anna on a disposable camera. We went to lunch at a ramen place near our Airbnb and took more photos inside a government building because it was so frigid that day.

To be honest, it wasn’t the happiest day of my life — I’ve always been really honest about that. My life-long dreams of what the day could’ve / should’ve / would’ve looked like got in the way of me living in the moment. That, and I got my period the morning of, so my mood was not as chipper as one would hope. I did love the day, and looking back, a majority of the day is full of fond memories. I actually tell everyone I know that they should elope, so that tells you something! The day was simple and intimate and fun and truly all about our love. The only thing I would go back and change is having family there.

Jonah’s aunts, who have loved on us and encouraged us from the very beginning, set up a dinner at one of their favorite restaurants. They had arranged a beautiful bottle of champagne to be sent to the table, and the staff there was so kind and attentive. They really made the meal feel so special. The moments at the restaurant, just us four, are some of the sweetest memories from that weekend.

We then ended the night at a restaurant-turned-very-fun-and-lively-bar. I had done tons of research before the trip to find somewhere that was a made for dancing, but was not a grimy club. I wanted to be able to drink and eat and dance and chat, and based off the reviews I hoped I found a spot for all of those things. Luckily, the place was even better than expected. Everyone there figured out we had just eloped and they were sending us drinks and shots — they even played Beige by York Lore, one of Jonah and I’s favorite songs, so we could have a first dance. It was special. The night ended with far too many negronis and the groom getting sick — every girls dream — but regardless, we were married.

We woke up the next day and got coffee and croissants and walked the river just the two of us. We then bopped around the city and explored altogether and finished our weekend at a Montreal Canadiens game. It was perfectly imperfect and special and unique to us, and a wonderful way to celebrate.

The reason I tell everyone to elope is because the weekend really did feel like it was just about us (which I’m sure people feel about their weddings as well!), but there wasn’t anything else going on. There wasn’t family drama — I mean…there was, but it wasn’t with us in Montreal. I wasn’t so worried about making sure certain details were coming together or that people liked the food. We just hung out and ate and drank and danced and got married. Simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple…no extra fuss. And although the weekend wasn’t inexpensive, it didn’t completely break the bank, and we were able to go to Copenhagen and Stockholm for a honeymoon with money we otherwise would have put towards a bigger celebration.

I feel like I just said a whole lot of nothing, but I really want to share is that your wedding day doesn’t have to be the happiest day of your life (that sounds depressing, but I don’t mean for it to be. It was an extremely happy day, and the sentiment of what we did brings me so much joy — I just wasn’t 100% present that day, and wish I could’ve been). It doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful. It doesn’t have to be seamless to adequately celebrate your love. It doesn’t have to be expensive to make lasting memories. It also doesn’t need to tick all the boxes of those around you. If you want something simple, go simple. If you want something major, go major. Your wedding day should really, truly, only be about you and the love of your life and celebrating your love in the best way you know how. And if it achieves that, you’ve done something good.

The last thing I’ll say about the weekend is that the photos, taken by BFF Anna, were taken on a digital camera. I always wanted a photographer to take magical, Pinterest-y photos, but that wasn’t in the cards for our weekend, so this was the next best thing. Let me tell you, these photos are some of the best things that came out of the weekend. They’re funny and unique and really capture Jonah and me. I have also gotten countless messages on Pinterest asking which photographer we used in Montreal, and emails from people who saw the photos on Pinterest asking what building we were in. It just goes to show that the little details that feel big to you (me) — ie, having a professional photographer and a plan of where to go — that don’t end up going according to plan, can end up being some of the things you’re most thankful for.

The internet can feel like a really loud place when it comes to weddings, and engagement parties, and bridal wardrobes…blah, blah, blah, so I just wanted to be the person to tell you that you have permission to quiet the noise and do what works in your timing and budget and lifestyle. Celebrate your love in a way that reflects it for you! <3

Anywhoooo, chat again soon!

Greta